Top Mom Influencers Share 3 Tips On How To Help a Recovering Mother

Three Tips I Can Share for Moms Dealing With Addiction Recovery
First, completely delete, block, and remove anyone in your life who could influence you to make the wrong choices or have access to drugs or any substance abuse.
... Secondly, surround yourself with caring, committed family members and friends who understand the importance of encouraging healthy habits. Addiction impacts all family members. Share what they can do to support you and alleviate any stress. Whether it's asking for help around the house, having planned time for yourself to exercise, or taking breaks from the kids or chores.
Finally, be sure to find an accountability partner or professional support person. You need to be able to communicate your feelings if you feel overwhelmed, guilty, ashamed, or have the urge to partake in destructive behavior. You can do this, and everyone wants you to heal and thrive.

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The most important but probably hardest thing for mothers in recovery is understanding the importance of self-care. Your buttons are bound to get pushed multiple times a day through the recovery process. ... Your kids are being kids, which can be annoying, or perhaps kids are reacting to the lack of safety they have felt and are acting out. The way to meet your kids is to be in a good place yourself. In recovery, I would say #1 is SELF-CARE, even above trying to care for your kids because if you put your kids first, they will ring you out.
1) Make sure you allow up to an hour a day to do something that fills your cup so that you can fill your child’s cup. Hopefully, you have help, whether it is a relative to take over for a while, childcare, or school.
2) Don’t use all that time the doing things. Use a good chunk of it for you, whether it’s sitting quietly with a cup of tea, going to a yoga class, or going for a walk; just make it something mindful.

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Being a mother can be extremely stressful and lonely at times. Looking after children on your own, as many do here in the West, can cause feelings of frustration, hopelessness, and despair because there is no let-up. And tomorrow early, it’ll start up all over again. ... Sadly, if mothers feel they are not coping, this can lead to feelings of shame and failure, even depression and anxiety, due to the demands of motherhood, underlined by what a mother thinks and feels is expected of her. Many also experience a loss of confidence and self-worth, especially if there are relationship or marital problems, you are divorced or if you’re a single parent; if your children are sick, you’re struggling financially; or you struggle with mental health issues, childhood trauma, abuse, and so on. And this can trigger various types of addiction or, indeed, a relapse.
This is why the following three tips are important;
1) Find a support group of mothers with similar issues. Women often hide their insecurities and failures. Yet they are great at supporting one another once they know someone is struggling. This is why support groups that do not judge are important, as they help one another realize that perfection and the ‘you should have everything together is just a fallacy and that all mothers, at some point, need emotional and practical support - and help with any addiction.
2) Letting go of unworthiness, guilt, rage, shame, bitterness, and resentment. This sentence is important: You cannot recover until you know what you are recovering from: Motherhood and all its varying anomalies are never really fully explained or understood until you experience it. And the shock of what can happen or the stress of what it involves can come as quite a surprise, especially as you cannot go back and cancel motherhood. You have to survive it and some struggle. This is also because we are not encouraged enough to heal our past issues or, indeed, told that relationships, marriage, divorce, and especially having children would press every emotional button - including those you thought you had managed to bury deep within your psyche. As a relationship therapist and educator, I have observed that a deep sense of unworthiness, guilt, rage, shame, bitterness, and resentment often sit as core issues within every addict’s emotional makeup - usually stemming from their own traumatic childhood experiences never really adequately resolved. And further stresses like motherhood and its implications can trigger any unresolved issues to rise, creating further confusion and anxiety. And to cope and squash out this pain, alcohol or drugs can be called upon to create a wall of protection to numb the uncomfortable emotions. You may start saying, “Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink, give me another pill, etc., so that I don’t have to face the pain.” Sadly, this choice often blocks out any happiness or joy. It makes things worse, especially for the families that watch you become numb - and numb to them too. They will watch you slur; they will watch you vomit; they will watch you become irritable, maybe even violent - but mainly, emotionally unavailable. Soon they will have to fend for themselves as their innocent childhood gets brushed aside. And you may feel even more guilty knowing that what’s more important to you isn’t your family - but your next drink, pill, or drug. This is another reason why a support group is so important. The group can help you work through these feelings and emotions. They understand because they will have been there too. But please do not wait. Contact them for your children’s sake too. The group will help you process your anger and concerns constructively, and they will teach you how to pause when you are anxious or stressed, to step back, and look at your role within the situation. They will offer you a different perspective, and they will teach you to respond instead of just reacting. They will help you find a way back to yourself and what you are capable of.
3) Learn to use substitute activities to become confident again. One area that many find hard - is how to build confidence. We build confidence by doing things, becoming active, and feeling that we are accomplishing something. And it starts by doing something small, or anything, at first. When we sit with our emotions, we can start wallowing in our own victimhood. This is why it is important to get moving in order to get your brain to focus elsewhere. This will also help any feelings of depression and so on. Becoming active will help you feel better, and you will start to gain self-worth. Yoga is also fantastic for mothers, depression, grief, menopause, looking great and building self-esteem, etc. There are centers that even offer free classes. Just talk to your support group. They or the centers could even organize classes for you and possibly even a care center providing time off for you to exercise. Also, walking and doing your 1000 steps a day will provide you with a sense of achievement. Indeed, running or cycling, even meditation, and learning to breathe differently will help too. Either way, start by taking one small action step, and slowly you will start unlocking the past. Find support and let others help you and your family who need you.

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Recovery looks different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to recover, so always make sure you are doing what is right for you! As moms, we tend to always feel like we should be putting ... everyone else’s needs above our own, but remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you are focusing on self-care, especially while in recovery. Your family needs you at your best, and you can’t be at your best without taking care of yourself. Spend time doing something you enjoy. This can be cooking family-friendly recipes, writing in a journal, knitting, reading a good book, meditating, or anything that you find fills your heart with happiness. When you are in recovery, it is important to fill your time with things that you love and keep your mind busy. This will help with your recovery since you are able to do things that are separate from your addiction. It helps to do things that you don’t associate with active addiction. So if you used to go out to one specific place with certain people at the height of your addiction, don’t go to that place or spend time with those people when you are sober and in recovery. As a mom in recovery, always remember that you are enough, you are loved, and there is help out there for you when you need it.

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